IN LOVING MEMORY OF BARRISTER MICHAEL AHANONU EGERE 13/01/1931 – 02/07/2008 A LETTER TO OUR DAD Dear Dad, You were a special person to a great many people. You probably didn’t even realise the kind of effect you had on so many people’s lives over the years until something like what we’ve been through inspires well-wishers to come forward and share their innermost thoughts. You’ve been a dear husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather, uncle, friend, employer, business associate, customer, vendor, client, neighbour and confidant to name a few. We know of countless friends and admirers from each of these connections that form the web of your life who have shared the profound impact you have had on them. You have been a rather bright beacon that stands for virtuous living, standing strong for what is really important in life – family, integrity and the recognition that it’s God’s will to do good with the talents He has given us. Dad, many of us gathered here in your memory will provide testimony regarding how special you were in their lives. They could provide countless examples of how strong your moral influence helped them navigate the stormy seas of life’s ups and downs. They each could describe how your unique blend of honesty, responsibility and your genuine interest, compassion, fairness and down-to-earth sense of humour made a difference in their lives. All of us will feel your loss in countless ways. All of us gathered here today are coping with a very complicated set of feelings that marry the joys and pride of having known you with the pain that comes with the reality that you are gone for short while. For those of us here this morning that are strong in faith, we have no doubt that this loss is only temporary. We know where you are right now – You in God’s heavenly Kingdom celebrating your wonderful, virtuous life along with our ancestors who watched over you all these years with great pride and happiness. You are now free from the pain and torment of the terrible disease that turned our lives upside down and inside out. You are in a place where peace, love and joy far surpass the best our world has to offer and you deserve every last bit of it. Dad, even though there are so many of your fans here this morning, this tribute is about how special you are to us – your children. By sharing a few details about how you helped to shape us, we would likely strike chords with all present today on how you helped influence them as well. Dad, you were the best friend we could ever have asked for. We thank God for giving you to us. Yet now we find an inexplicable feeling of loss and sadness. Our hope is that now that you are in a place where you can see and hear us clearly, where you possess all the wisdom of the ages and you now understand God’s plan and your place in it, perhaps in time you can help us make sense of it all too. But this day and this assemblage of people are celebrating your life and your legacy, for it’s your children that will live our remaining years with your memory and your example. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives where we will each build a bonfire full of your memories to fill and warm the cold void in our hearts that represents your loss. You have provided each of us with mountains of memories and fatherly wisdom from which we can draw to keep our bonfires burning, getting us through the year round emotional winter that we are about to face without you. We hope you don’t mind if we take a few minutes to honour what makes you a very dear and special father. In life, you never permitted yourself to be the centre of attention. It’s only in your death that we are permitted to share a small fraction of our strong feelings of gratitude we each hold dear in our hearts. It’s only at this early celebration of your life and reunion with our Lord and saviour that we can attempt to convey how your values, virtues and spirit will live through us. Dad, before you get too upset from your catbird seat in heaven, let us acknowledge upfront that your wife has a big impact upon us as you have. She has been your partner and you her’s in the success of raising four children who are equipped with every value, virtue, moral standard and advantage necessary to carry the torch of principled adulthood and parenting into the next generation. We can hear you now reminding us that without mum’s support and her own commitment towards and skills in parenting, many of the things for which we are now ascribing to you would not be possible. We all know that. Dad, let us also be the first in your honour to at this time, if you could do so yourself, acknowledge your wife’s heroic sacrifice on your behalf over the last few months. She gave up everything to rally to your course. Her devotion to you in your time of need was so immense that to describe it will be beyond belief for anyone who was not there to see what she undertook everyday since the moment she learnt of your illness. She became your 24hr a day doctor, nurse, research director, cook, maid, spiritual adviser, coach, cheerleader, friend, confidant and even your weeping post. In good times and in bad, she has never lost her faith in God or her contagious optimism that there will be a way t beat the odds. This lifted you and all of us to a higher set of possibilities. Your children thank their mother (and of course God) for the extraordinary extra time you had with us on earth. In the final struggle of your last six weeks, she amazed even those of us who know and admire her faith, fortitude and intelligence. She put forth what can only be called a superhuman effort. She went into hyper-drive to ensure that your every need was attended to. We can’t tell you how many of the wonderful healthcare professionals at Eko Hospital have commented about what an extraordinary woman your wife is. They had never seen anything like it. She was an inspiration for them. In her unadulterated love for you, throughout your illness, your beautiful wife went way beyond God’s expectations and the vows of matrimony to become the definition of pure love. With unselfish compassion, mum brought a little bit of Heaven down to earth. Dad we know you’d want this said. While we can’t begin to express it as eloquently as you would, we hope we have adequately conveyed the feelings of deep gratitude for your wife that are on your Heavenly heart. Now Dad, please permit us to put the spotlight on you and you alone just this once. Dad you have always enjoyed a father – child relationship with each of us that was true pure friendship. You somehow found a way to raise us as both our friend while also remaining our leader. We are thankful that you had this special talent. You have proven to us that one can lead with compassion in both parenting and in life. Dad, throughout our lives, you have demonstrated by your actions how to behave as a leader and a loving providing and nurturing father. You led the way for us. Your extraordinary work ethic, prudence, humility, generosity and most importantly, your integrity have always made it easy for us to know the right thing to do. Not that we always followed your example but you were always there to pick us up, help us understand our errors and set us upon the right course. For the likes of me who have been blessed with children, one of the main reasons we’re so comfortable and enjoying our role as parents is because you demonstrated the great joys and rewards that parenting can bring. So you see, we have a lot to be thankful for as we celebrate your life and now your reunion with God. Adieu Dad!! Rest in Perfect Peace!! Obioha Azuwuike Egere For the Children.